Heidi and Tyler: new roommates; old friends - Q AND A

  Tyler Parker 

Q: What do you hope to learn from living with Heidi? A: I hope to learn what it takes to make a good relationship and then take it to the “I do everything for you” step without making it odd or embarrassing to both parties.

Q: Why do you want to become a Health Care Aide?

A: I want to become a health care aide because of Heidi. I see the world as a cruel place that we need to fix. This world is not ready for people to change how others see “CRIPS”. It’s a touchy subject that not everyone is comfortable with talking about because, as humans, we don't always see how we treat others well. when I'm out with my aunt I get questioning looks “why is that young women with that *crip*?” My answer to their looks is “She’s with me and I will protect her”. Not everyone gets just how strong my relationship with her is. My aunt has saved my life more than once. In junior high I was a mess but my aunt would not let me quit anything. She would take me for a day or for a week and I would get through it all. I never have had a relationship like I do with my aunt. She can make my awful days into good days and my good days in to amazing, awesome, beautiful days.

She pushes me to be the best I can. It’s because of her that I'm working so hard to get my diploma and also to become a healthcare aide. She makes everything better with her huge happy grin that she always has for me. When I was a little girl I met my aunt that has changed my world, turned it upside down and put it back together to make me smile; even when I thought I never would again. she is my influence that saves me from making my life worse and helps.

Heidi Janz

Q: How did you meet Tyler?


A: Tyler  is my ADOPTIVE niece – it’s the closest / most convenient shorthand identifier we could find for our rather complex connection. Here’s a Reader’s Digest version of how Tyler came into my life: Some 13 years ago, Tyler’s grandfather, Shafer Parker, became my pastor. I soon developed a close friendship with Shafer and his wife Jeanne – and over time, also with their eldest son (Tyler’s stepdad), Tyler’s mom, and their two kids: Tyler (then all of 5 years old), and Sean (then a newborn).
 

 Q. Why did she move in with you? 

A: Due to frequent relocations, Tyler has had to go to 2 high schools in the past 3 years. Faced with another move, she was frustrated and on the verge of quitting high school. Tyler’s goal is to become a Health Care Aide. But I felt strongly that it’s important for her future that she finish high school before going on to her HCA training. So, I offered to have her come live with me to finish high school and then go on to take her HCA training at Nightingale Academy. Her entire family thought it was a good idea, Tyler took me up on the offer, and here we are.
 

Q. What are you learning?


A: The importance of PRAYER!!!!!!!!!!  . How to negotiate multiple roles of surrogate mom, aunt, landlord, roommate, confidante, & counselor. (No wonder I’m so tired!) 3. How to establish rules and boundaries, while giving her the freedom she needs to make her own decisions as a young adult. (This is still VERY MUCH a work in  progress!!!)
 

Walter Gretzky addresses year-round minor hockey

From what I’ve seen in recent summers, local hockey rinks are almost as busy as outdoor swimming pools. But is it a good idea for young hockey players to lace up skates and strap on the pads year round? Walter Gretzky says no.

“I’ve seen it,” says Walter, the father of Wayne. “When kids play hockey all year long they are tired in February.”

Walter thinks kids should play as many sports as they can so they can have different experiences. He gave an up close and personal example: Wayne loved baseball and could have made the major leagues. We all know he took a different path and made National Hockey League history.

It raises an interesting debate: would Wayne have been so dominate in the NHL if he only played hockey?

Walter made the observation last week when he was in Edmonton for The 2014 Alzheimer's Face Off luncheon. Retired Vancouver Province columnist Jim Taylor conducted a very entertaining question and answer session with the ever engaging Walter.

Email me

Twitter @camtait

"Making the words work" — Jim Taylor

When Jim Taylor and John Short are sitting across from you at the dinner table, you’re in for a real treat. And, if you happen to be a newspaper reporter like me, listening to two veterans spin stories about their adventures is an unforgettable evening, laced with subtle lessons — just like how they write.

…Jim

Jim wrote over 7,500 sports columns for newspapers including the Vancouver Sun, Vancouver Province and Calgary Sun. John wrote sports for the Globe and Mail, the Canadian Press, the Edmonton Journal and he is a colleague of mine at the Edmonton Sun.

Jim was in town Thursday to be part a charity event. A few weeks ago he suggested the three of us have dinner “and tell a few stories.”

I just listened. I may have been in the newspaper business for over 30 years, but, frankly, I felt like a journalism student taking his last class.

Jim and John met in the mid-1960’s, decades before the Internet. They relied on notepads and manual typewriters to write their stories and columns. But, more important: their reputation.

Jim gave a great example: he was writing a book with Wayne Gretzky, and several days before Gretzky was traded to Los Angeles, Jim had the story. But he had an agreement with Wayne: not to write anything in the newspaper he discovered while writing the book.

And he didn’t.

I have to wonder if that would have happened in today’s social media.

…John

John says reporters and people they write about these days don’t share time together like they used to — over dinner, or over a cup of coffee. Building relationships are so very important in any business, especially the media.

Funny thing happened, too. Nobody’s cell phone went off once over dinner.

Mrs. Tait joined us and I’m glad she got a glimpse of newspaper reporting years ago.

“I have never heard you so quiet over dinner in the 19 years we’ve been married,” she said.

And that made me wonder if, perhaps, I don’t listen enough.

Email me 

Twitter @camtait

Remembering a volunteer's volunteer

By Sharan Sandhu

 Bernie Karcher

A cheerful average height man with military-cut hair walks-in vigilantly across the South East Police Station, bringing smiles on everyone’s face. Left and right, he tosses good-natured greetings with a mysterious smile, acknowledging volunteers and police officers by their names. His  memory borders on uncanny. He heads for yet another volunteer opportunity: his thoughts are focused improving the overall quality of life of fellow Albertans, and the community as a whole.

He moves quickly — so fast that people have come to think of him as a blur: the vague outline of a loose black jacket, accented by a splash of small hair showing few grey streaks. His jacket is draped loosely across his shoulder as if he’s daring the world to grab hold and try to slow him down. 

This was Bernie Karcher.

….Bernie on the right

Bernie had the ability to make people crave to do volunteer work with him. The enthusiasm and support he gave to every volunteer made them find the work fun. As President of Mill Woods Community Patrol Bernie communicated with all  volunteers and treated them with respect, and encouraged them when needed. Bernie tried to get the best out of his team of volunteers by being understanding them and inspiring them.

He made you feel as if you were involved in a very important enterprise, where discipline was the priority and things are going well. He was a great volunteer leader. If you ever patrolled with him, you saw some of the finest traits of him, like his observations, his enthusiasm, his confidence and his witty comments. Bernie Karcher was quick but not hasty, committed but not rigid, analytical but did not over-analyze and he was thoughtful, but is not obsessive. The people who knew him from many years say that he could smell the problems in the community when he was patrolling, and that was the reason that he spent good time attending courts.

Among all the action, Bernie sat with his Blackberry/laptop or iPad with his small glasses sitting on his nose and then went about his work. He updated  the volunteer status, looked at new volunteer applications, studied newly introduced laws and legislations to be introduced and so much more.  He could easily multi-task. But the amazing thing is that Bernie occasionally threw comments into all the conversations that are happening around him. It always amazed me that he could concentrate intently on his volunteer work, professional work and still know what was going on with his family.

Bernie was very well aware of his professional, personal and volunteer responsibilities and amazingly he keep a perfect balance. He was available wherever he was required, and he showed up for everything because he just wanted to be there to show that it mattered. That’s why he was a terrific human being: he understood the importance of being there, of being having a presence, and of showing up.

The best thing about Bernie Karcher was that being the head of Mill Woods Community Patrol, he did not command excellence; he built excellence. In his words, excellence is “being all you can be” within the bounds of doing what is right for the organization.

Bernie was a recipient of many awards, including the 2009 Harry Hole Community Policing and the Good Neighbours Award. On May 10, 2013, another feather was attached to his cap — the 22^nd Annual Crime Prevention Award for 2013 for Mill Woods Community Patrol in the category of Police-Community Collaboration.

In my opinion  Bernie  was a true role model for every volunteer to make Alberta an exemplary place to live in.

This is the person that was: the person who died on March 27^th.

He touched many people through his volunteer efforts with MWCP, Operation Red Nose, the Edmonton Indy, the MS Bike Tour, Santas Anonymous, the Progress Club, World Triathalon, the Mill Woods Presidents’ Council, Mill Woods Canada Day celebrations. Bernie constantly made the extra effort to reach out and make a difference in somebody’s life. His cool-headed and positive approach to every situation struck a chord with thousands of people he interacted with, along with me. His irreverent sense of humor and love for helping people of any background will ensure that he will never be forgotten. 

Rest in Peace, Bernie Karcher.

 

…Bernie in the blue shirt

Click here to send an email
l

We're back blogging with a new name: TAIT ON 8

Ah, what the hell: I’ll have a Coke.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted a blog. In fact, thelast was way back in the fall when I was mad at Coca-Cola. But we can’t stay mad at something forever, right? So I’m going to fire up the blog again because there’s so much to share.

I March 20 joined the Edmonton Sun as a columnist. Tait on 8 is the name and we sharing good news in the Edmonton area. The response has been overwhelming. And we have so many great stories to write that, unfortunately, we can’t get them in two columns in the Sun and Edmonton Examiner. So we’re going to use my blog to help out.

Like, Wednesday. Mill Woods Community patrol acting president Sharan Shandon sent an email about Bernie Karcher.

Shandon says Bernie was a dedicated volunteer and was very well known throughout the community. Sharan wrote a very nice piece about his friend Bernie and we’re going to post it, including pictures, tonight or first thing Wednesday.

So I really want to hear from you about good things going on in your life.

It’s funny, isn’t it? We’ve all heard people say “whenever you’re going through a rough period call me — I’m always here to listen”? And that’s great.

But when your life is on fire, when things are going great, when you’ve reached one of your dreams, I would like to know.

Please share.

camtait@telus.net

Twitter @camtait.

(Please visit Challenge Insurance where I work as a special projects advisor.)

The Edmonton Sun.

The Tait Debate: Shame on Coca-cola

I may have very well sipped my last Coca-cola. The soft drink giant is in the throws of a promotional campaign where words, in English and French, are engraved in caps and customers are urged to put words together. In a news story Friday, Shannon Denny, director of brand communications with Coca-Cola Refreshments Canada, said the idea is for folks to put together humorous sentences. But there was nothing funny when the words “You retard” showed up in Blake Loates’ husband’s Vitaminwater cap bottle, a Coke product.

What was especially concerning to Loates is her sister has a younger sister who with autism and cerebral palsy. The R-word? Very demeaning — even derogatory — to people with disabilities. I know: I have cerebral palsy, a physical disability. Yet, over my five decades, I have been called a retard. I find that offensive. In September of 2013 I find it very, very offensive and in extreme bad taste from Coca-cola. They should hang their heads in unforgiveable shame.

In French, Denny says, retard means delayed. I really could care less. The mere fact Coca-cola decided to use the word is simply wrong. It shows their pathetic and archaic way of thinking, and says volumes about how they view people with disabilities.

And I really have to wonder. Because for all of my adult life I know organizations and associations promoting the abilities of people with disabilities have worked hard — damn hard — to create proper language. Such efforts try to create positive awareness so people with disabilities can be seen as people. Not names. Yet, time and time again, we hear of stories of negative terminology being used. I wonder if the hard work of people with disabilities are, in fact, being listened to. The Coca-cola story is certainly disheartening.

I think I’m going to mix myself a stiff drink. And I know one thing: I won’t be using a Coca-cola product for mix.

CLICK HERE TO SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS IN AN EMAIL

Ending poverty begins by looking at it, face to face

From the outset, it could very well be too much to ask: how do we end poverty? How? How can we as a community even begin to start to chip away at such a monumental issue with so many challenges, which seemingly leads to dead ends? The answer is very simple, really: we have to acknowledge it. That’s what happened Thursday when the 2013 Alberta Capital Region United Way campaign kicked of in Edmonton at the Expo Centre with 700-plus supporters in attendance. This year’s campaign has a lofty goal — $23.6 million — and took a diversion from past campaign kick-offs.
 
In the past, kick-off lunches have been inspired with stories from people who have benefited from United Way programs and agencies. They have ranged from convicted criminals, to single parent families, to people with disabilities, to people with addiction issues and many more. Their stories have been inspiring. They have shown United Way dollars changing their lives. Yet, there has been common theme in almost all of them: poverty. Because if you don’t have money, maybe you turn to crime; if you don’t have money to provide for your family, maybe you turn against the people you love the most and break up your family; if you don’t have money and you become disabled and can’t get proper resources, maybe you turn to drugs or alcohol.
 
 
“Imagine this. Each and every day you wake up, you are focused on one thing – surviving - day-by-day.  You’re not sure if there will be enough money to meet the rent, pay the heat or put food on the table for your family,” United Way campaign chair Gary Bosgoed described to the crowd.  “Your transportation is limited. You catch a lift with friends, you walk or you take public transit – that is, when you have bus money.  And university for your kids?  Well, that’s for other people. Your biggest worry today is finding the money to buy their school supplies – and as for the class field trip, that’s just not in the budget.”
 
The numbers are quite staggering, Poverty is a way of life for 120,000 people in the Alberta Capital Region. And here’s the figure that is most startling: 37,000 are children. “Kids,” says Bosgoed, “who aren’t concerned about the latest in video games or fashion trends – but they are concerned about getting enough to eat.”  Under those conditions opportunities can be hard to come by and the challenges can become endless.
 
 
Yet, there is hope. United Way has done extensive research and has come up with a plan: Creating Pathways Out of Poverty. Funds from this year’s United Way campaign will go to three key areas: education of children from early years to high school to help them reach their full potential; providing income support to folks who are homeless or have low incomes, and creating wellness, physically and mentally, without the worry of fear and violence in our communities.
 
“Poverty is not something that one organization, government or group can tackle alone. It takes all of us working together with measurable and specific goals in mind,” says Bosgoed.
Perhaps, then, the question isn’t how can we end poverty, but rather this: How can we not?
 
(Cam Tait is a semi-retired Edmonton Journal columnist who is the Special Project Advisor for Challenge Insurance in Edmonton.) 

The Sept 17 Tait Debate: Teenagers perform home care for mother when workers fail to show up

Susan Beaudoin

Susan Beaudion is a proud mother of two teenagers and she wants to care for them and give them as many opportunities as she can. But it’s been very hard to do that lately and because Susan needs her kids to help with when home care workers don’t arrive for scheduled visits: her teenagers  help her getting dressed and helping her onto the toilet. That’s the reality for the 43-year-old woman who has had multiple sclerosis for 23 years and uses a wheelchair. Susan is supposed to get help from WeCare Health Services four times a day to help her get up in the morning, dressed and go to bed in her Beaumont home.

But ever since Aug. 1 when We Care signed a new contract with Alberta Health Services Susan has not had home care workers show up for several shifts. On Monday night her scheduled help did not show up and she had to put herself to bed. Other times she relies on family and friends for help. “Any transfers to the toilet, or meals were done by my kids who are teenagers,” she says of a recent Sunday when her help didn’t show. “But they should not have sole responsibility of their mother's care. They helped me to get into bed that night.”

Susan says the problems started when AHS changed the We Care contract. Since Aug. 1, We Care home care workers are not being fully paid for mileage for visits in non-Edmonton towns. We Care employees now have to pay for a significant portion of operation a vehicle out of their own pocket. “Before the August cutbacks I had three regular homecare workers that did above and beyond what was needed,” says Susan. “They became my friends and they treated me with dignity and respect. They have left because they could not afford to stay. They had to find other jobs because they had bills to pay too. They all loved their jobs before the cutbacks.”

We e-mailed Don Fraser in the Edmonton We Care office twice for him to comment on the missed visits. E-mails were not responded to. Mr. Fraser is welcome to respond at the end of this blog post.

Susan says sometimes the We Care office calls her to say nobody comes. Sometimes not. And that leads to confusion: One day Susan was called and said nobody would be filling the shift. Then, someone did arrive 30 minutes and helped her but nobody came for the rest of the day.

Susan says it is very mentally taxing just not knowing who is coming and when. “I am exhausted! Trying to always try to cover for the lack of care I am receiving. Trying to keep a house going with minimal care when I receive it.  This has totally affected my plans because I need to have my friends and family stop just being family and friends to become being caregivers.  We can't have fun and socialize but now they have to help me, too.”

Susan continues: “My home does not feel like a home with complete strangers coming in and out. Daily it is changing. Having the same caregivers come regular is so important because you form a trust with that person. It takes time to tell them (someone new) and showing them, and then in return receive minimal care. It is like asking a complete stranger to do something personal for you, (and) you don't want to.”

Susan has reported the missed visits to her case manager. Her case manager is upset with the situation and has recorded the information. “I am hoping that more people that speak out that this will be rectified. I think they (We Care) are going to have to pay their staff better which includes travel especially outside the city,” he says. “I am feeling so frustrated with this that I don't know what else to say. I guess before I felt like a contributing person in society and now I feel like I am trying to exist.”

(Cam Tait is a semi-retired journalist who has cerebral palsy and uses home care in Edmonton)

Keep the conversation going by clicking here 

The Sept. 13 Tait Debate: A sentimental journey in a '72 Cutlass Supreme

When Garry Meyer emailed me Wednesday to say he would be by Thursday morning to pick me up in his 1972 convertible Cutlass Supreme, my reaction was “Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.” I’ve known Garry for years as a great master of ceremonies for events and a great practical joker. Nineteen-seventy-two Cutlass? A convertible? Bring on the pictures. But then, just after 9 a.m., Garry was in front of my place, adjusting the top in a brown ’72 Cutlass Supreme. “We’ll take the top down for the ride back,” Garry said.

All summer long Garry and I have been planning a trip from Edmonton to Camrose to visit a mutual friend. Thursday was the day. Away we went on a warm fall morning where I learned about the brown Cutlass. When I got in one look at the dashboard took me back to my teenage years: an AM radio with a needle indicating the station frequency, little metal levers for the heat, long rods on the passenger side for air vents on the side of the vehicle and laps belts minus the shoulder harness. We weren’t even five minutes away from my place when people started honking horns and flashing the thumbs up. People loved see the car. “I once had someone leave me a note on the windshield saying if I ever wanted to sell it call — and there was a woman’s phone number attached to it,” says Garry. Another time he ran into the wife of the car’s original owner in a Sherwood Park parking lot where she thanked Garry for taking such good care of the car.

But he has no plans to sell the car. In fact, he restored the vehicle twice, the last being when he put a 350 Rocket under the hood. He loves driving it and has wheeled it down to Montana.

Garry hasn’t named given the car a name: he doesn’t have to. Garry bought the car from  Stedelbauer Chevrolet on July 13, 1983 the day before his mother went to the Misercordia Hospital for a routine cancer check-up. The next day Mrs. Meyer passed away. “On both sides of the car I have HMM engraved,” Garry says of his mother’s initials.