Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Heidi and Tyler: new roommates; old friends - Q AND A

  Tyler Parker 

Q: What do you hope to learn from living with Heidi? A: I hope to learn what it takes to make a good relationship and then take it to the “I do everything for you” step without making it odd or embarrassing to both parties.

Q: Why do you want to become a Health Care Aide?

A: I want to become a health care aide because of Heidi. I see the world as a cruel place that we need to fix. This world is not ready for people to change how others see “CRIPS”. It’s a touchy subject that not everyone is comfortable with talking about because, as humans, we don't always see how we treat others well. when I'm out with my aunt I get questioning looks “why is that young women with that *crip*?” My answer to their looks is “She’s with me and I will protect her”. Not everyone gets just how strong my relationship with her is. My aunt has saved my life more than once. In junior high I was a mess but my aunt would not let me quit anything. She would take me for a day or for a week and I would get through it all. I never have had a relationship like I do with my aunt. She can make my awful days into good days and my good days in to amazing, awesome, beautiful days.

She pushes me to be the best I can. It’s because of her that I'm working so hard to get my diploma and also to become a healthcare aide. She makes everything better with her huge happy grin that she always has for me. When I was a little girl I met my aunt that has changed my world, turned it upside down and put it back together to make me smile; even when I thought I never would again. she is my influence that saves me from making my life worse and helps.

Heidi Janz

Q: How did you meet Tyler?

A: Tyler  is my ADOPTIVE niece – it’s the closest / most convenient shorthand identifier we could find for our rather complex connection. Here’s a Reader’s Digest version of how Tyler came into my life: Some 13 years ago, Tyler’s grandfather, Shafer Parker, became my pastor. I soon developed a close friendship with Shafer and his wife Jeanne – and over time, also with their eldest son (Tyler’s stepdad), Tyler’s mom, and their two kids: Tyler (then all of 5 years old), and Sean (then a newborn).
 Q. Why did she move in with you? 

A: Due to frequent relocations, Tyler has had to go to 2 high schools in the past 3 years. Faced with another move, she was frustrated and on the verge of quitting high school. Tyler’s goal is to become a Health Care Aide. But I felt strongly that it’s important for her future that she finish high school before going on to her HCA training. So, I offered to have her come live with me to finish high school and then go on to take her HCA training at Nightingale Academy. Her entire family thought it was a good idea, Tyler took me up on the offer, and here we are.
Q. What are you learning?

A: The importance of PRAYER!!!!!!!!!!  . How to negotiate multiple roles of surrogate mom, aunt, landlord, roommate, confidante, & counselor. (No wonder I’m so tired!) 3. How to establish rules and boundaries, while giving her the freedom she needs to make her own decisions as a young adult. (This is still VERY MUCH a work in  progress!!!)


Anonymous said...

What kind of mother does this girl have?? Relocations (plural), what kind of unstable relationships is she in?? Obviously the parent she has does not care about her well being as much to give her to a virtual total stranger to raise and to mold her into an adult. Thanks be to God for this Heidi cripple or not she is more mother then her biological mother ever could be! Good on you Heidi God Bless you.

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Anonymous said...

afterall this persons mother cant be in stable work or personal relationships - her mother and current step father are swingers constantly having to move because they invite total strangers into their home so they would be more the happy to get rid of her ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaa
such a sad state of affair

Jenni J said...

I believe that before a person can make judgments on another families situation and parenting they should first look at their own and if they are perfect every moment of every day with their own children in all situations then they can become educated on this particular families needs and pass judgment. If you are not perfect don't comment on another parents decision making and home structure. There are many factors this family is facing not just what you have imagined.

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